IN DEFENSE OF THE FUNNY MAN WHO WROTE THE BIG ARTICLE (AND THEN DIED)
Oh my god this is so weird but my vagina is talking. What’s that you’re trying to say, oh “eery” canal? It’s saying: “Tell the funny man who wrote the big article that…”
HOW MANY TIMES MUST I DEFEND HITCHENS? (Even though my vagina secretly agrees w/Paul Feig. & It even SINGS about it!)
99 Cent Whore Sings
“EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM WANTS TO F*** ME RIGHT NOW”
Mary Birdsong (of RENO 911) as her alter-ego the “99 CENT WHORE,” singin’ a new song that the 99 cent whore made up after going to a fancy Hollywood party. This song was also co-made-up with Julia Darling, and features an F#minor chord!
Thnx 4 Bein’ Such a Jag-Off. Ya Jag-Off.
My loving, yet gently castrating response to Adam Carolla’s lame “anti-lady” comedy stance.
Come see me do something I rarely get to do in public! SING!!!!
I’ll be on hand with DRAWING HOPE at this glamorous, one-night-only Hollywood benefit to support survivors of rape and sexual abuse.
Drawing Hope is a charitable organization that – through art – serves survivors of abuse and other life struggles. Drawing Hope helps survivors connect with their own strength, see their beauty and embrace their freedom.
Click HERE for a full brochure about the event and
how we help survivors of rape and sexual abuse
The Mark
9320 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles
March, 18 2012
An unconventional approach to the serious topic of rape and sexual abuse
6:30 - 7:00pm | Reception and Red Carpet (for VIP ticket holders)
7:00 - 8:00pm | General Reception
8:00 - 10:00pm | Dinner and Program
The “to do” list
now as ART!!
The names have been blacked out the protect the innocent, but reading it as if I do not know me, some of the items really made me laugh. ”Make hummingbird nectar?” All kidding aside, it’s kind of an interesting way to get to know someone. Please feel free to photo reply with your own lists. My friend Lori and I joke that on our tombstones it’s gonna say “Mary Birdsong 19**- 20** She picked up here dry cleaning before they closed.”
Censors Demand New “NC-17” Rating for Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey!
My sisters and I were all excited about watching a dvd of the 1970s Christmas special Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey with their kids and wondering why it is rarely, IF EVER, broadcast on television. Well now? We’re pretty sure we know WHY. If any of you are lucky enough to have a DVD copy in your possession, go to “scene selections” and click on scene #7— where the Virgin Mary & Joseph attempt to buy Nestor from a Middle-Eastern merchant. Then zoom in on that merchant’s nose. Wow. As soon as that nose appeared on screen, there was a pause, and then my little sister Veronica and I looked at each other and burst into gut-busting laughter. Soon the entire family, was rewinding, zooming, freeze-framing, and watching the scene frame by frame until we got a good enough frame that we could take a photo of. Whoever is responsible for designing that particular puppet, we applaud you. You gave this family one of the most memorable Christmas experiences ever. Totally age-inappropriate, but we couldn’t help it. We all marveled at it, and gave thanks. We realized that the advances of HD tv and huge flat-screens since our youth, were suddenly making visible to our grown-up eyes what we couldn’t see in our youth— a huge penis and testicles playing a crucial role in the Nativity. Other fun details we were now able to notice were the wires that controlled the puppets (fully visible) and the fact that the little hands of all the puppets were, for some reason, FILTHY! Merry Christmas, Nestor. And thank you.
It’s SO windy in LA now. 4 ONCE i’m glad i’m not a size zero. all these skinny starlets r up in the air— like hungry kites.
So let me get this straight… I finally get a GREAT part in a GREAT movie and XENA gets all the credit? M’kay.
Say Something Funny...B*tch: 'Tuesday Meditations: FAGA KNOWS ALL' by Rebecca Leib
This weekend, my friend John and I got hammered and I promised him he could answer sex advice questions for my column. So I took some dumb questions from a f*cking ignorant dumb repressed ladies health website and Faga answered them.
We were all so drunk.
So goddamned drunk.
This is the…
Oh dear, Nigel. I’m afraid this immigration issue’s bigger than we thought. I mean, do these people even drink TEA?? I mean… Rrrrrrrreally!
