ANTHROPOLOGIE, FREE PEOPLE AND URBAN OUTFITTERS (FORMERLY THE LEFT-WING SHOPPING HIVE OF CHOICE FOR HIPSTER-BEES) EXPOSED! CAUGHT ON FILM WEARING SANTORUM SWEATER-VESTS WITH DEEEEEP POCKETS!
Dear Mr. Hayne: you may as well start marketing your stores as Halloween costume outlets, cuz the jig is UP, seeeee? You can’t pass your stores off as one of my cool friends anymore and then hit the golf course with Santorum. My eyes have been opened, so my wallet must close. Anthropologie, UrbanOutfitters, & Free People- you are not the lefty-hipsters you have pretended to be. So stop dressing the part while you secretly hate on gays & women by taking the cash I give you and donating it to people who fight to keep gay marriage rights out of reach, and propagate ridiculous dogma about how women should accept their “rape babies” as “gifts from G-d.”
I had a really creepy, disturbing dream last night that involved me getting a piggyback ride from adult Peter Brady (Christopher Knight). Then today I wake up and I read on twitter that TV Land is hosting a week-long Brady Bunch marathon to honor the 40th anniversary of the series. COINCIDENCE?!?!
I think the ancient astronaut theorists need to investigate. Or at the VERY least… those guys from the UFO Files.