(fabulous rioting erupted in west hollywood today as devastated fans took to the streets awash in betrayal. when birdsong later addressed the situation to an eager pressroom, she was reportedly wearing tacky shoes and “slouch socks,” though this has not yet been confirmed.)
“I swear, I’m not gay! I’m just a 43 year old, single white female who’s played tons of lesbians on tv and really likes the color lavender who’s never been married or divorced. I was engaged two and a half times, though.”
— Mary Birdsong, as quoted in a press conference earlier today
“She’s totally gay. Otherwise, why didn’t she do me that night ?”
— some dude*
*his jeans were WAY too tight, plus he smelled like sauerkraut & watched fox news
(click the picture above to go to the full article)
