This song not only rocks… it’s like a positive affirmation you can use whenever your self-esteem is in the toilet. Going to a party? Feel like a loser? No problem…. just get some chips and dip, and make small talk as you sing to yourself “Everybody in this room wants to f**k me right now.”
WRITTEN BY MARY BIRDSONG & JULIA DARLING PRODUCED & ENGINEERED BY MIKE RUEKBERG
It doesn’t matter that my songs aren’t great. It doesn’t matter that I sometimes sing flat. It doesn’t matter that I don’t know the difference between a snare drum & a high-hat!
‘Cuz… Everybody in this room wants to fuck me right now. Duh duh duh duh dum. Duh duh duh duh dum. Duh duh duh duh duh-dum.
Everyone who’s on TV, they wanna fuck me right now. Everyone including me. I wanna fuck me right now. I’m a hot chick singer and I’ll fuck with your mind. So much that when you fuck your wife you’ll have to fuck her from behind.
Everybody in this room wants to fuck me right now Duh duh duh duh dum. Duh duh duh duh dum. Duh duh duh duh duh-dum.
(SPOKEN) Like you, sir. Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Hold on a second, whore. I’m not sure I do wanna fuck you. I don’t know where you’ve been. And my sweet little wife is fast asleep in the next room. And to that sir, I say “Good for you!” But when you crawl under the sheets with that little lady tonight? And you give her a tussle. The same tussle you been givin’ her the same exact way once every other week for goin’ on… what? 8 or 9 years now? And she’s wearing those granny panties of her’s ‘cuz she didn’t get to the laundry and it’s her time of the month and she says “Don’t touch me down there, cuz I’m dirty! And don’t do that cuz that hurts my back! And that hole’s for poopin’! And you think back on this sweet conversation we’re having right now, you and me? And you fantasize about what I’m wearin’ which are these real cute little Daisy Duke shorts? Well, trust me, sir. And I mean trust me. You’re gonna wanna fuck me!
That’s the power of the microphone. That’s the strength of the guitar. Wouldn’t happen if I played the trombone. Wouldn’t happen with a sitar.
(SPOKEN) You know what I’m talkin’ about. Those ladies who sing like “ah ah ee ah eee. I wear a sheet over my head and goat is delicious!” I mean nobody wants to fuck THAT, right? Right. But…
Everybody in this room wants to fuck me right now. Hey hey yeah, fuck me right now. Ho! Fuck me right now! Thank you.